Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
