i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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