Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
