420 ftw
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
