can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Randomize
