We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Reggie can tackle my bush.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
This is my gift to your gina
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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