just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
