pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
should my penis look like a turkey
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
