As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
