So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
