Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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