He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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