you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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