I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
