I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
