Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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