I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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