Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
