The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
