Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
