are you still at the devil's house?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Randomize
