yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
