Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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