Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
