he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
