sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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