3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Let's get the cat blown out
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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