that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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