I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
