"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
