I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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