Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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