doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
