I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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