i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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