My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
