Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Say something about gay babies.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
