absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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