she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
