I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I've blown a few things in my day
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i've created a new STD.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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