: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
