Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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