Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
