I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
