i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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