Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I want to fling myself into the sun
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
