would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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