I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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