ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
