I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
